Its been a while since I blogged!! but today I really gotta get some things off my chest!
Around February 2010 I was in my first official movie! It was called "The Gift", featuring Charles S Dutton, and Jamie Hector. I was called in to do background work for a Birthday Party Scene. Everything was so unexpected because I wasn’t even looking for any extra work at the time. I was working with an agent in order to book some modeling jobs, and she asked if I wanted to work on a movie project. I said yes because I have a deep passion for movies, and there was no place id rather be on a Friday night than on a movie set! I mean why sit home watching a movie when you can actually be a part of one! LOL
When I got on set I instantly adapted to the environment, and it became a part of me! I was not shy or nervous. I just smiled and became friendly with everyone I could. The casting director and other people on the set really liked my down to earth personality, and told the agent I was working with that I was a pleasure to have on set. I wanted to stay all night, and I was sad when they told us that it was time to go home.
After that day the acting bug bit me in the ASS BIG TIME, and I have been looking for more opportunities ever since. I have always had a fear about auditioning in front of people. I didn’t think I could have the courage to go to an audition and get rejected by a table full of agents, but little did I know... I had more courage then I knew.
In March i decided to sign up with a casting company in NY, and I worked hard searching vigorously on google for more auditions. I put aside my fear and said screw the punk ass routine lets do this shit! So I went on my first audition about 2 weeks ago. The first audition I had was for a play. Little did I know however it was for a musical, and my ass is not trynna break no mirrors by singing! lol so I just did an improv skit with some other actors, and I did a great job! The only thing I was off on was my Monologue! Damn Monologue Why do you have to do those things anyway? LMAO Well despite my FAIL on the monologue side I did awesome with the improv skit so I was satisfied because I gave it my best!
The following day I had a second audition for an independent film in Philadelphia. I kid you not all the fear I had the previous day was completely gone, and I had turned into a completely different person! A confident person. When I got to my audition I blew everyone including myself away! The panel was all smiles, and nodding their heads at my performance, and this past week I got a call from the director telling me personally that he wanted me for the movie!
I have also been fortuned enough to work on the TV show Mercy Hospital in NY as a Nurse during my short time as an Actress. This Monday I finished my first film where I had several lines. It was for a student film at Temple University.
I must admit that I am working harder at this than I have at anything else I have ever done! When I have to miss an audition for my full time day job I swear tears start welling up in my eyes, and I start to cry! That’s how I know this is what I was meant to do! I AM AN ACTRESS! There’s nothing anyone can tell me to change that! I have proven to myself that I have the natural gift to act, and I know that god has blessed me with these skills. I have no doubt in my mind. Everyone in life has god given talents, and gifts, and if you use these gifts you will be happy from within because you are truly doing something you love! Its not a job, but a career. A career that you can be proud of!
A couple days ago I was on the set for another movie project, and they called me back again for background work. I had so much fun working with the crew last time I was there, and I met some other great actors, and actresses. There was no way I was turning this opportunity down for anything! however... here comes the sticky part... MY 9-5 JOB!
One thing I have learned in this profession over the last several months is YOU CANT HAVE A FULL TIME JOB AND TRULLY BE CONSIDERED AN ACTOR! To perfect your craft and become one with it you have to sacrifice, and put it first above everything else! You have to be willing to grind on the computer for over 6-7 hours a day looking for auditions or extra work. You have to put aside money for quality photos, and you have to be willing to do work for Free so you can add experience to your resume!
Well right now I am at the cross roads. I want to give up everything for the one thing that makes me smile! The one thing that makes me truly happy, but how can I do it when I have a mortgage, and bills out the ass? AND When I have a job where people take off all the time, and expect me to always be there to cover them! Leaving me with no time to leave, and do things I want to do! Well...The answer is this. I have to make a choice. This situation reminds me of a scene from one of my favorite movies by one of my favorite actors WILL SMITH
"You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can't do it....If you want something GO GET IT!! PERIOD!"
Life is too short to be Unhappy!
Stay Tuned for PART 2!
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