I PUBLISHED MY FIRST BOOK! (THE ANTIDOTE)

So... I finally published my first E-book on Amazon!  It was a long time coming but I'm proud the day is here.  After this Series I will be releasing my Erotica Series so go check it out and give me your honest feedback!


Much Love,
XoXo
MizzBlaze

PREFACE:

Love is often times found in the strangest places, and under the most profound circumstances. Candy has managed to deceive everyone around her into thinking that she is a strong woman who doesn’t need anyone to survive, but in her heart she yearns for true Love and affection. She secretly craves acceptance, and most of all she wants to escape her dark filled past, but bad habits are hard to break.

One evening a mysterious man walks into her life and appears to offer the solution to all her problems, but her knight in shining armor has a dark past of his own, and Candy finds herself trapped in a whirlwind of lies, murder, and betrayal. Will she have the courage to break out of the darkness before it’s too late? Or will she find herself as another statistic?

This is not your average love story filled with romance and happy endings. This is a story of Pain, Strength, and Vindication where nothing is as it appears to be.

Click Here to Download: THE ANTIDOTE Pt. I: Not Your Average Love Story

ADVICE FROM A MAN...

Someone sent me this in an email. What do you think?? Agree or Disagree??

ADVICE FROM A MAN....

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

3. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

4. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

5 . Slower is better.

6. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

7. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then, Heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. (Tell it like it is!)

8. Don't settle.

9. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

10. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

11. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

12. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

13. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

14. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

15. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

16. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.

17. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.

18. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

19. Never let a man define who you are.

20. Never borrow someone else's man.

21. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

22. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

23 . All men are NOT dogs.

24. You should not be the one doing all the bending compromise is a two way street.

25. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

26. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complementary...not supplementary.

27. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

28. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him, he takes it for granted.

29. Never move into his mother's house.

30. Never co-sign for a man.

--Anonymous ---

IS YOUR WOMAN CHEATING?

Fellas: Do you have a feeling your woman is cheating on you? Most of the time there are blogs, and advice columns out there for women, but what about the men? Today I want to focus on helping out all the fellas.... I feel its time for the men to have some feedback this time around! The world would like us to believe that all men are dogs, but I personally dont agree. There are men out there that are sensitive, compassionate, and loving. Men can get hurt in a relationship just as much as a woman can. Lets look at some signs of a cheating....WOMAN!

1. A sudden loss of interest- She used to enjoy going out in public with you and your friends, but now all of a sudden she just wants to stay in the house. Why? Is there something she wants to hide?

2. Change in physical appearance- Your lady used to dress average on a daily basis, but now shes wearing new dresses, new perfume, and all of a sudden her hair, and make-up are flawless! Why the sudden change? She says she just wants to start looking better for you? Hmmm yeah ok!

3. Strange phone calls- Is your girl starting to get phone calls late at night? Or all of a sudden her phone is on vibrate, and then when she goes to answer it she leaves the room or goes outside to answer the call. *side eye* Why? Whats going on? Could it be her "Boyfriend No. 2"

4. Missed Calls- Every time you go to call her she is suddenly unavailable, and when she calls you back she always has some lame excuse like, "My phone had bad reception so I didn't get the call" or "I forgot my phone over my girlfriends house" Hmmm yeah ok! *side eye*

5. Secrecy- Does it seem like all of a sudden your girlfriend got a new job working for the F.B.I? When you ask her questions about her day, or what she has planned for the weekend she starts giving you short strange answers. Woman are generally smooth in covering their tracks when it comes to cheating, but if you know your woman well enough you can pick up on her mood changes... you just need to pay attention.

6. Sexual Appetite- Does your girlfriend seem to have a loss of sexual energy? She used to want to have sex all the time, but now she could care less? OR She has the same sexual appetite, but now she is trying new an extra freaky tricks in the bedroom that she has never tried before? Hmm.. Could her new man be teaching her something that your not?

7. Spending more time with her girlfriends- Is your partner going over her girlfriends house a lot more all of a sudden? Or she has she met some new friends, that she wants to spend her time with? Could it really be a guy? Hmm (Also be aware of the Cover Girl) This is a girlfriend who always seems to come to your partners side to justify her sudden change in Social Networking! *side eye*

8. Increase in Arguments- Is she arguing with you more than usual, and then storming out the house? Are the arguments about small meaningless things, that usually didn't bother her before? Could it be an excuse to leave and spend some more time with her boo? Hmm Watch out!

9. Working Late- Is your girlfriend telling you she needs to spend more time at the office? All of a sudden she has projects that require her to stay extra long hours, and maybe even spend the night at a hotel or girlfriends house? Hmm yeah ok!

10. Guilty Conscious- Sudden gifts come out of no where, and for no particular reason. Candle light dinners, or trips out to eat just because. Sometimes she could just want to be nice, but sometimes it could be signs of a guilty conscious!

---Although these signs can go either way for a man or a woman, I wanted to take sometime to focus on the fellas since they always get neglected!---- XoXo MizzBlaze

COMMITMENT PHOBIA!

Do you get nervous when the person your dating starts saying things like, "I Miss You" "I Cant Stop Thinking About You" or " Lets be Exclusive” ? Do you find yourself always running for the heels every time someone says the words, "I Love You” ? If this sounds like you, or someone you know You Or that other person may be suffering from....

COMMITMENT PHOBIA! 

Commitment Phobia is very common. In fact most people have it and don’t even realize it because it’s embedded in their subconscious.Let’s face it, everyone is scared of being hurt by love and that’s ok because fear is a part of life, but if this fear is stopping you from experiencing the great things that love has to offer than you may want to do a bit of self reflection. Fear is an emotion that usually comes from past experiences.

If you have witnessed a string of negative relationships from your family or friends for example you could unconsciously be running from love because you don’t want to endure the same heart breaking end results. You could also build Commitment Phobia from opening up to someone in the past, and becoming deeply wounded or betrayed because of it, but just because you are afraid of something doesn’t mean you can’t overcome it. 

Love has many more positives than negatives. Think back to the beginning of your relationships, and not the end. Remember when you couldn’t wait to see that person after a long day of work... Just the thought of their face or the sound of their voice would make you feel so overwhelmed with joy and happiness. That is the image you should hold in your mind when you think of the word LOVE, because love is about joy and happiness not pain and heartbreak. 

As in all situations you have to take the good with the bad, and you should always evaluate your past relationships so you can learn from them and grow, but you should never dwell on the past or become so obsessed with it that it holds you back from your future! Commitment Phobia may be a part of life, but it does NOT have to be a Permanent Life Threatening disease without a Cure.Real Love Can Heal a Broken Heart! So think happy thoughts, and you will find the one who makes you feel happiness for eternity!

MIND GAMES

Has someone ever accused you of playing, "Mind Games" ?? Or have you felt that someone has played "Mind Games" with you in the past? If so lets talk about why this happens, and also discuss some of the causes behind it.

It has been said that when you first meet someone you don’t really meet them... you meet their "Representative" I.E. the person they want you to meet, the person they want to present to you. As time goes on however you get to see the real man/woman behind the mask. The question is why do people play games? Why not be real from the start, don’t they understand the truth always comes out? The answer unfortunately is NO! Insecurity, Past Commitment Issues, and Fear causes allot of people from opening up and being themselves, especially in the beginning of the relationship, and therefore putting up a "Front" is natural for them. It’s somewhat of a protection or barrier against being hurt.

Some people play mind games for different reasons however. Mind Games can be used not just as a barrier but as a mechanism to deceive and manipulate for someone’s own personal gain. In some situations mind games are played to build a reputation as a player, or playette, pimp or gigolo. For whatever the reason mind games are still wrong because they give a false perception of the real person, and they usually end up causing pain, and frustration for the other party/'(s) in involved.

So now that we have gone over the reasoning behind these games lets look at how to decipher the games from the truth! It has been said before, and I’m going to say it again... “Actions Speak Louder Than Words!” If you are unsure of someone’s true intentions watch their actions, and not their words. See if they can back up everything they are verbally expressing to you. Do their actions appear sincere? If not you may have to question their true objective.

The second way to see past all the games and lies it to have “Patience.” Never rush into anything too fast because it can cause you to be blinded from the truth. Take your time, sit back and WATCH. Keep your eyes, and ears wide open. Time will tell if the person you are with is playing games, or if they truly mean what they say.
XoXo Written by, MizzBlaze

HOLDING OUT

 So you met someone new and your wondering...

HOW LONG SHOULD I HOLD OUT??

Well that all depends on you, and the vibe that you’re having with the other person. When starting a new romance you should take some time to talk, and get to know each other on a mental level before you bring sex into the picture. Holding out sometimes can be frustrating especially if you are getting close with the person and you are highly attracted to them, but good things are worth the wait! So...What's the Rush?

There are plenty of things you can do romantically in the beginning of your relationship to feel the person out before you take it to the next level. The best way to keep it subtle is to stay in open spaces. Don’t spend alone time together for the first couple months if you are trying to take it slow. If you find yourself one on one with the person you may not be able to hold back, so instead do things that can build your relationship, and friendship in an open setting. You and your potential partner can go out to events that you both enjoy such as, Poetry Readings, Sporting Events, and Carnivals. 

Try not to focus on the physical, but instead grow your understanding of the other person’s likes and dislikes. What makes them tick? What annoys them the most? These are all important questions you should be asking yourself in the beginning of your courtship. When you start to learn a persons moral values, and beliefs it makes it easier to see if you want to go further with them.

The best thing about building a friendship first is the romantic stimulation that comes along with the anticipation of the wait. Every night you are thinking about how it would be to have that person in your arms, and wondering how it would be to take it to the next level with them. All the thoughts and feelings in conjunction with your discipline build for a greater experience. When you take the time to get to know someone on a mental level it makes the Sex that much more Explosive because there are true Feelings, and Passion behind the Stimulation. You are connected on a Mental, and Physical level. So Holding Out can bring much more than A Greater Understanding, it can also bring a Higher Level of Sexual Gratification. 

So there’s no need to Rush! Holding Out Is a Good Thing!

GOING DUTCH

 

Proper Dating Etiquette 101!

Often times when you have your first date it can be very uncomfortable because there are a lot of uncertainties. You are unsure of the persons motives, intentions, personality, and moral up bringing. If the “Male” was raised to be the head of household for example, he will usually bring a more old fashioned way of thinking into the relationship. If he was raised in a household where the woman was the bread winner however, he may have a more modern way of thinking. Either way it’s important to "Communicate" with the person you are going out with prior to your date in order to have a general idea of what to expect. On a first date it’s typical that the initiator will pick up the bill. However this is not always the case. It goes back to the person’s upbringing, and their way of thinking.


 If you are unsure about how things are going to go when the bills comes to the table the best thing to do is to have a brief conversation prior to going out on your date. It may seem slightly taboo to some, but in the end it’s effective. You will not be sitting at the table staring at one another wondering what the other person is thinking when the check arrives. Going Dutch is traditionally for people who are not romantically involved or for new couples feeling each other out, but everyone has their own opinion on splitting the bill. 

Some men find it insulting if a woman offers to pick up the tab or pay her own way at the end of the date, whereas some men find it very attractive, and invigorating. Stereo-typically the man is expected by society to be the one to pick up the bill on a romantic date, but "Going Dutch" is becoming more common. There are some situations where the woman will pay for the entire meal herself because she feels empowered to do so. Whatever the case may be there is no right or wrong way to handle the situation. The most important factor is the mutual understanding between both parties. 

Communicate with the person you are going out with, and express how you feel about dating. It should not be an aggressive or pushy conversation. Keep it simple, and upbeat. You can say something like, “I can’t wait for our first date Friday night! It will be great to spend some one on one time with you. (pause) I was wondering, what are some of your dating dos and don’ts? Do you feel it’s more acceptable to go “Dutch” on a first date? Or do you prefer to be the one picking up the bill?” Opening up the conversation this way is non offensive, and it can lead to a much needed dialogue that can help you to better understand the person you’re going out with. Having this discussion prior to the date will allow you to feel more relaxed on that first night. After all you will have enough things on your mind, why add to the pressure? 

 HAPPY DATING!!

GROUPIE LUV!

You have admired a Music Artist or Ball Player from afar... You keep up with their latest actions, and you respect his/her talents. You feel some kind of affection towards this person all though you have never met them face to face. The thought of them makes you smile, and feel all giddy inside when you see them come across your TV screen... These feelings are similar to Love, but how can you be in Love with someone who doesn’t even know you exist?? Could this be the beginning of a ... Groupie Luv! 

In reality there is nothing wrong with having admiration for someone. It’s easy to look up to a public figure and feel some sort of attraction to them.

It could be because of their talents and gifts or because of the way they claim power and attention. After all who wants someone who is just sitting around not making moves? The people that are the most appealing often times are the ones who are action takers, and leaders. You look up to them because they have stepped up to the plate, and done things that other people have only dreamed to do. So why wouldn’t you feel some kind of attraction for them? 

The Term Groupie is defined as---- "An ardent fan of a celebrity, someone who follows a group/artist around on tours. An admirer of a celebrity who attends as many of his or her public appearances as possible." 

So how does this admiration turn into a Sexual Attraction? You start off as a fan “A devotee or enthusiast", and then the next thing you know you are being referred to as a Groupie which is a "Fan" to the tenth power. The feelings you develop go from being basic to sexual, and you start fantasizing about this unknown person in a romantic sense. 

Whenever you see them in an interview, or video you start to imagine how it would be to have them in your life for real, and you become intrigued to know about all the moves they make. Some people may say these feelings are crazy, and down right obsessive, but are they really? What’s wrong with wanting to know about someone you’re attracted to? I feel your admiration only becomes dangerous when you take an aggressive action toward your crush, and you do and say things that are out of your character in order to gain their affection or temporary love. 

Having a "Groupie Luv" is perfectly safe in my opinion as long as you do not put yourself in harms way or degrade yourself or your body in order to get a temporary fix. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t believe all groupie luv involves an exchange of sexual favors. I feel you can look up to someone, follow their progress, be attracted to them and go on to build a platonic relationship with them. After all aren’t Entertainers and Athletes normal people too? They Love, Cry, and get their Hearts Broken just like everyone else. 

So why do you have to be called names just because you admire someone, or because you fantasize about a person in a sexual way. Isn’t this a normal feeling? Why wouldn’t you have sexual thoughts for someone you find attractive? Whether they are in the lime light or not! There are all types of Luvs, and I personally feel that nothing is wrong with "Groupie Luv" as long as that love doesn’t turn into a Dangerous Fatal Attraction. No matter what kind of situation you’re in, you have to keep your safety, and self respect as your first priority. 

If you’re of age, and you can wake up in the morning and be proud of what you did the night before then who’s to judge? You have to be happy and fulfilled with yourself, and be able to live with your actions, and choices in life. I feel "Love" is a beautiful thing, but you need to always have love and respect for yourself before you can have Love for anyone else. Keep in mind that Artist and Athletes again are just people. They are not Gods or Untouchable Creatures. 

I feel it’s important to understand that most people who are currently in the lime light once had a “Groupie Luv” too! They have looked up to artist/entertainers on TV, and have been attracted to them, followed their progress, and had sexual thoughts about them. It’s completely normal, and innocent in nature to have a “Groupie Luv”, at least until you take aggressive action, and then it becomes something more. 

~Be Safe & Much Luv~ XoXo

THE FEMALES TEN COMMANDMENTS

Many people ask me why I'm single, and honestly there is no simple answer. I have given so many guys chances recently, and in the end it was a big FAIL! I'm not trying to say all the guys I ever dated were bad, I'm speaking on the last couple of years. I did have several Good Men in my life, and when I had them it was me who messed up. I was not mature enough to handle a serious relationship back then, and I think a part of me was afraid that the relationship was too good to be true, so I purposely sabotaged it.  

Now that I have matured and I'm ready to be open, and take a chance at Love it seems all I meet are lazy guys who want Sex with no commitment or Sex without putting in any work at all. No courtship, no dinners, no being there when your car breaks down, just Sex and then they go about their business. Maybe I'm not getting out enough or maybe I need to travel more because lately I've been working a lot and I haven't had the chance to move around, but Damn it seems the older I get the worse my selection of "Men" become.

I know I am partially to blame because I have not always laid down "The Rules" AKA said exactly what I expected or what I wanted. I just hung out with them, and did the whole independent woman routine. My mom raised me to never depend on a man so I rarely asked for help. A part of me thought it would make me look weak. But now that I have a house, and bigger responsibilities I realize that when you have a man in your life he should be there to make your life easier not harder. 

He should alleviate some of your stress, and in turn you should be there to support him as well. I never expected much so I never got much. So because of that I was wrong, but now that I have grown I understand that as a woman you must not give in to your feelings of loneliness, and sexual urges before you know that the person that your dealing with is truly in your best interest. In other words they care about your well being, and want to give not just take, they care about your happiness, and your safety. Someone who will go out of their way to let you know that you are not alone in this world, and that they have your back.

Too many woman allow a man to get something for nothing. They cook and clean for them, open their legs for them, give their love, and affection away for what? for sexual gratification?  For someone to warm your bed at night? If that's all you need ladies get a Heated Blanket and a Vibrator! I have been guilty of these things in the past, and on a Serious Note just 5 months ago I gave my all to someone who did not deserve or appreciate my time or affection but it STOPS NOW! 

No matter how bad it gets I need to understand that my Priorities comes first over my Loneliness, and need for affection. I'm a woman not a girl anymore, and its well over due that I Say What I want from a man in a realistic context and not allow the Bullshit to continue. A guy needs to put in work to be with me, but I'm also willing to put in the same amount of work in return.  Ive never had a problem giving my all and making sure that the person I'm with is happy. My only problem was in the midst of giving him my all I forgot about what HE should be giving to ME!



This is my Theme song for 2011! Ladies please pay attention to the lyrics below!

 LIL MO & LIL KIM "TEN COMMANDMENTS"

Ladies, I wrote me a manual
How to keep your man
These rules you must follow
My 10 commandments
(Oo, oo, oo)

Let me break it down for you
Rule number 1
Never give him some on the first night
Rule number 2
Never bring your man around your crew

Rule number 3
Never call him first let him call you
Rule number 4
Never let him know your every move

Rule number 5
Never tell him about your past
How many other lovers you've had?
How many other lovers went bad?
Make no exceptions
If you want it to last

Girl, you got to understand him
If you want to keep your man whipped
Follow my 10 commandments
And he'll keep coming back for more
And more and more

Rule number 6
Never mix business with pleasure
Rule number 7
Never move in unless he tell ya

Rule number 8
Never tell your friends about your bedroom
Rule number 9
Never let them know his shoe size

Rule number 10
Should have been rule number 1
'Cos If you give in on the first night
Make sure you ride that thing

Scream his name
And he'll be yours for life
'Cos you know your excited
('Cos you know your excited)

And you just can't fight it
And you wanna tell all your friends
But you've got to make sure loves intact
Because you want him to keep coming back

Girl, you got to understand him
If you want to keep your man whipped
Follow my 10 commandments
And he'll keep coming back for more
And more and more

Girl, you got to understand him
If you want to keep your man whipped
Follow my 10 commandments
And he'll keep coming back for more
And more and more

There's never no such thing as giving him to much
'Cos if you want to wed with your man
You can never give enough
'Cos you get excited

And wanna tell everybody
But you've got to make sure
Loves intact
Then it will help you bring him back

I've been in this thing for years
It made me an animal
Me and my girl
Mo wrote you'll a manual

Step by step booklet for you to keep
Your man in his place
And out the next girls' face
Rule number 1

Never give a dude money
Girl, don't be a dummy
Let the homie, stay bummy
'Cos once he start, he won't stop, that's it

And all he gonna do is spend it on the next chic
Rule number 2
Before you give him some
It's your way

Shoppin', a new car
That's what I call foreplay
Now don't get me wrong
Respect your man

But if dude gets out of line
Then check your man
Rule number 3
Should have been rule number 1

Never go down
Till he licks you round
Your neck, your back, your pus** and a** crack
Rule number 4, 5 and 6

Very important lessons
Keep your man guessing
Never let him see you stressing
And if you love heres 7, 8, 9 and 10

Never ever, ever mess with his friend
See if you follow these
You'll have mad bred
To breaka house on the beach

And mad trips to jacob
He'll be home at night cooking you a steaka
And he'll keep coming back for more
On the wake up

Girl, you got to understand him
If you want to keep your man whipped
Follow my 10 commandments
And he'll keep coming back for more
And more and more

Girl, you got to understand him
If you want to keep your man whipped
Follow my 10 commandments
And he'll keep coming back for more
And more and more

Understand
If you want to keep your man
And you want to hold on to him
Keep your man whipped

Follow my 10 commandments
Ha, you got it
Ha, keep coming back for more
Understand

Keep your man
My command
More and more and more
More and more and more

MUCH LUV XOXO @{~~~~~~

WHAT IS SEXY TO YOU?

I went to the movies today to go see "For Colored Girls" which I might add is a very good movie.  My baby Omari Hardwick was looking extra sexy. I'm gonna have to ignore the part about him being a .... well I don't wanna ruin the movie! (side eye) LOL So anyway as I walking through the theater on the way to my seat I noticed several guys staring at me.  

Now, there's nothing wrong with guys looking at a female right? Well the problem was that most of these guys were on a date.  I looked around at the females in the theater, and I noticed that most of them were dressed down in outfits that in my opinion should only be worn around the house not on a date! I meanwhile had on my suede knee high boots, jeans, a black knitted shirt, with my hair, and nails done. In other words I was dressed to go out.

I never have understood how some females just let themselves go when they get a man.  Keeping yourself up both physically and emotionally is important in any relationship.  Now I know that men will always look, but they should never be lusting for another female when they are around you. Glancing is to be expected, but he shouldn't be fantasizing about another female, and wishing that he was with her instead of you.  Men are physical creatures and appearance is very important to them.  Just like we as females need affection, men need to feel appreciated too.  I personally feel its disrespectful for any female to go out on a date with her man, and not look her best.

All Im saying it to ask your man what is sexy to him.  Find out what turns him on, and make a point to switch things up every once in a while.  Smelling good is just as important as looking good! Some sweet smelling perfume is just as necessary as some heels, and a sexy dress.  I understand that sometimes you dont want to dress up, but its important to keep your man excited, and interested.  I dont expect every female to look extra sexy 24/7 but when you go out with your man you should make him happy to have you on his arm, and in return he should do the same for you.

Keep the relationship HOT in and out of the bedroom! Role Play, Weekend trips alone without the kids, and unexpected love notes to say you care are all important elements to keeping a relationship strong. 

How important is the one you love? What is Sexy to You?

XOXO MizzBlaze

MY BOOBIES POPPED OUT!

I just finished my first photo shoot in years, and I wanted to share my experience with everyone. As I was filming the video however my top button popped open, and my viewers got to see a little bit more than they expected! LOL

WHEN TO CALL IT QUITS

Has your relationship gone from this.....

To this..............


If the answer is yes, well then maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship.

I spoke with a young woman this week, and she was telling me about her recent breakup. She said she was sad because her ex broke up with her so he could have more time to focus on his career. He said they still could be friends, but right now he couldn’t give her wanted she needed. For the record I don’t believe that bull-ish for a second! I feel any guy/girl who says they need space to focus on their career is holding something back. Normally you want the support of the person you love, and you welcome the encouragement that they can bring into your life. Now if that person is a hindrance because they are constantly bringing you stress then of course you will want to break up with them! But don’t say it’s because of your career plans, when honestly it's because you feel emotionally overwhelmed by their unsupportive attitude towards your goals for the future.

After I thought about her situation I responded by saying, "It sounds like there is more to the story, do you think he’s being completely honest with you?" She said yes she felt he was disclosing the whole story and she went on to explain how her ex has a busy schedule between work and school, and he spends all his free time pursuing his upcoming plans. Now what I forgot to ask the female is if she was a nagger, and if she ever found herself complaining about not having enough quality time with her partner. When a man/woman is working on obtaining their goals they need space. If you have a busy career, or a heavy workload make sure you're in a relationship with someone who understands that. If your partner is emotionally draining or too needy you will separate yourself from them in order to focus. COMMUNICATION is number 1! Not everyone can be in a relationship with someone who has a hectic schedule. However, I’m not excusing the lack of attention that you may be experiencing. When someone is important to you, you will make time for them!

On the flip side I have a male friend who is currently having problems with his woman because she feels he puts his career before their relationship. My friend claims he wants to make it work with her, but he doesn’t know what to do. I asked him if there was anyway he could involve his lady in his upcoming projects, and he said no. This is another issue, COMPROMISE! If this is someone you plan to be with for the long haul why not involve them in your plans? This way they won’t feel so neglected. Now if they don’t want to help, and they only want to complain then to hell with them! But if they genuinely just want to be in your presence, then helping you out with your goals for the future should be an honor.

In the end it’s all about finding the right one for you. Not everyone is going to fit into your lifestyle or your future. A good partner should be supportive, understanding, and compassionate. If you want to take over the world they should be right by your side cheering you on! But at the same time you have to make time for the things they love also. Support and compassion works both ways. Involve the one you love in the things that bring you joy, because it will make them feel special too. If you honestly feel your current partner doesn’t fit into your future plans then tell them so, don’t give them some stupid lame line about being too busy for a relationship. I don’t care what anybody says, you’re never too busy for LOVE! People only say things like that to avoid confrontation or an argument. The real truth is they don’t want to make time for you, and they are busy dealing with things in life that are of more importance to them.

I.E. You are no longer the person that takes priority in their life, they’ve lost interest in making things work with you! Again, if you really love someone and you genuinely want to be with them you will find ways to make it work despite the hardships you may endure.

If you don't want the truth, don't ask MizzHotBlaze!!!

DO YOU COMMUNICATE ENOUGH?

This message is for all the new couples. Congratulations! You have successfully passed your first 6 month or 1 year anniversary and things are still going strong. Of course you’ve had some bumps in the road, but love has gotten you over them. Around this time you might start to feel laid back and comfortable in your situation. Ladies start wearing their head scarf’s to bed, and guys start opening up about their feelings somewhat. This critical time can definitely make or break your future. One major problem in a new relationship is communication! This is a necessity. If you want your love to continue you need to talk. I know your thinking, “I talk to my man/woman everyday. I can communicate.” Well everyone says that, but unfortunately talking in a general sense is not enough.

A question for the ladies... “What do you tell your girlfriends about your man? Do you ever complain about him? Do you ever bit** about the annoying things he says or does? If the answer is yes, you need help communicating in your relationship. I know you probably think its ok to vent to your girlfriends because that’s what they’re there for, but honestly it’s not recommended to discuss relationship problems with friends. It’s ok to have one main person you confine in for advice from time to time, but your best friend should be your partner. You should be able to turn to him for direction and guidance. Not every man is good at giving advice, but your partner should at least listen and support you. He should be your confidant and your rock. If he’s not giving you all you need, then you may need to question if he’s the right one for you.
Fellas....Do you find yourself talking to other females about the problems you have with your girl? Do you ever look at another woman and think, damn I wish my lady would be more like that! Well if you answered yes to either one of these questions, you need help communicating in your relationship. Don’t look to another woman to make up for what your partner is lacking. If your girl is not giving you all you need then you have to speak up and tell her! I’ve talked to so many men who say they’re woman is not freaky enough, creative enough, or fun enough. After I patiently listened to all their concerns and issues I ask them, “Have you addressed this issue with your woman?” and most of the time they say no because they don’t want to hear her complain or they don’t want to hurt her feelings. To all the men out there please listen up! “We Can’t Read Your Mind!” Men and woman have different ways of communicating, but that doesn’t mean we can’t talk.

Rule #1 Never assume anything. Don’t think your girl/guy is gonna blow up about something when you have never even brought the problem to their attention.

Rule #2 Think before you speak. (Men) Yes, woman can be sensitive so choose your words wisely. The most important thing to remember is you can’t avoid a topic because you’re afraid to speak your mind. If you ignore the issue it’s not going to disappear, so deal with it and move on. (Ladies) Men have feelings too. Don’t ever compare your man to anyone else. If your partner is getting on your nerves take a few breaths and calmly tell them how you feel. Remember no man likes a whining woman, so make sure you try to release your feelings and be done with it! Erase the board and start fresh.

Rule #3 Monitor Your Anger! If your partner opens up and makes a suggestion to you, take the constructive criticism with ease not anger. Remember your mate loves you, and it’s ok to make changes. Life is about growth and progression. If you get angry they will only go to someone else to vent, and that will draw a wedge between your relationship.

Rule # 4 Little things mean a lot. After you have a sit down talk with your partner about an issue make sure you always end with words of love and encouragement. End the discussion by praising all the things you love about them! This is very very important. Think of exciting bonding activities to do together every week. This will make your relationship stronger. You can make fun card games for one another with questions your afraid to ask, write out a poem stating all the beautiful things you love about your mate, play karaoke together, and serenade each other with sweet love songs, etc.

Rule #5 Last but not least....Constantly find new ways to explore your LOVE. It takes hard work to maintain a healthy relationship, and you get out what you put in.