DO YOU COMMUNICATE ENOUGH?

This message is for all the new couples. Congratulations! You have successfully passed your first 6 month or 1 year anniversary and things are still going strong. Of course you’ve had some bumps in the road, but love has gotten you over them. Around this time you might start to feel laid back and comfortable in your situation. Ladies start wearing their head scarf’s to bed, and guys start opening up about their feelings somewhat. This critical time can definitely make or break your future. One major problem in a new relationship is communication! This is a necessity. If you want your love to continue you need to talk. I know your thinking, “I talk to my man/woman everyday. I can communicate.” Well everyone says that, but unfortunately talking in a general sense is not enough.

A question for the ladies... “What do you tell your girlfriends about your man? Do you ever complain about him? Do you ever bit** about the annoying things he says or does? If the answer is yes, you need help communicating in your relationship. I know you probably think its ok to vent to your girlfriends because that’s what they’re there for, but honestly it’s not recommended to discuss relationship problems with friends. It’s ok to have one main person you confine in for advice from time to time, but your best friend should be your partner. You should be able to turn to him for direction and guidance. Not every man is good at giving advice, but your partner should at least listen and support you. He should be your confidant and your rock. If he’s not giving you all you need, then you may need to question if he’s the right one for you.
Fellas....Do you find yourself talking to other females about the problems you have with your girl? Do you ever look at another woman and think, damn I wish my lady would be more like that! Well if you answered yes to either one of these questions, you need help communicating in your relationship. Don’t look to another woman to make up for what your partner is lacking. If your girl is not giving you all you need then you have to speak up and tell her! I’ve talked to so many men who say they’re woman is not freaky enough, creative enough, or fun enough. After I patiently listened to all their concerns and issues I ask them, “Have you addressed this issue with your woman?” and most of the time they say no because they don’t want to hear her complain or they don’t want to hurt her feelings. To all the men out there please listen up! “We Can’t Read Your Mind!” Men and woman have different ways of communicating, but that doesn’t mean we can’t talk.

Rule #1 Never assume anything. Don’t think your girl/guy is gonna blow up about something when you have never even brought the problem to their attention.

Rule #2 Think before you speak. (Men) Yes, woman can be sensitive so choose your words wisely. The most important thing to remember is you can’t avoid a topic because you’re afraid to speak your mind. If you ignore the issue it’s not going to disappear, so deal with it and move on. (Ladies) Men have feelings too. Don’t ever compare your man to anyone else. If your partner is getting on your nerves take a few breaths and calmly tell them how you feel. Remember no man likes a whining woman, so make sure you try to release your feelings and be done with it! Erase the board and start fresh.

Rule #3 Monitor Your Anger! If your partner opens up and makes a suggestion to you, take the constructive criticism with ease not anger. Remember your mate loves you, and it’s ok to make changes. Life is about growth and progression. If you get angry they will only go to someone else to vent, and that will draw a wedge between your relationship.

Rule # 4 Little things mean a lot. After you have a sit down talk with your partner about an issue make sure you always end with words of love and encouragement. End the discussion by praising all the things you love about them! This is very very important. Think of exciting bonding activities to do together every week. This will make your relationship stronger. You can make fun card games for one another with questions your afraid to ask, write out a poem stating all the beautiful things you love about your mate, play karaoke together, and serenade each other with sweet love songs, etc.

Rule #5 Last but not least....Constantly find new ways to explore your LOVE. It takes hard work to maintain a healthy relationship, and you get out what you put in.