ADVICE FROM A MAN...

Someone sent me this in an email. What do you think?? Agree or Disagree??

ADVICE FROM A MAN....

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

3. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

4. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

5 . Slower is better.

6. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

7. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then, Heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. (Tell it like it is!)

8. Don't settle.

9. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

10. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

11. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

12. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

13. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

14. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

15. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

16. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.

17. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.

18. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

19. Never let a man define who you are.

20. Never borrow someone else's man.

21. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

22. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

23 . All men are NOT dogs.

24. You should not be the one doing all the bending compromise is a two way street.

25. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

26. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complementary...not supplementary.

27. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

28. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him, he takes it for granted.

29. Never move into his mother's house.

30. Never co-sign for a man.

--Anonymous ---

COMMITMENT PHOBIA!

Do you get nervous when the person your dating starts saying things like, "I Miss You" "I Cant Stop Thinking About You" or " Lets be Exclusive” ? Do you find yourself always running for the heels every time someone says the words, "I Love You” ? If this sounds like you, or someone you know You Or that other person may be suffering from....

COMMITMENT PHOBIA! 

Commitment Phobia is very common. In fact most people have it and don’t even realize it because it’s embedded in their subconscious.Let’s face it, everyone is scared of being hurt by love and that’s ok because fear is a part of life, but if this fear is stopping you from experiencing the great things that love has to offer than you may want to do a bit of self reflection. Fear is an emotion that usually comes from past experiences.

If you have witnessed a string of negative relationships from your family or friends for example you could unconsciously be running from love because you don’t want to endure the same heart breaking end results. You could also build Commitment Phobia from opening up to someone in the past, and becoming deeply wounded or betrayed because of it, but just because you are afraid of something doesn’t mean you can’t overcome it. 

Love has many more positives than negatives. Think back to the beginning of your relationships, and not the end. Remember when you couldn’t wait to see that person after a long day of work... Just the thought of their face or the sound of their voice would make you feel so overwhelmed with joy and happiness. That is the image you should hold in your mind when you think of the word LOVE, because love is about joy and happiness not pain and heartbreak. 

As in all situations you have to take the good with the bad, and you should always evaluate your past relationships so you can learn from them and grow, but you should never dwell on the past or become so obsessed with it that it holds you back from your future! Commitment Phobia may be a part of life, but it does NOT have to be a Permanent Life Threatening disease without a Cure.Real Love Can Heal a Broken Heart! So think happy thoughts, and you will find the one who makes you feel happiness for eternity!

FINDING A NEW LOVE

Out with the old and in "With the New" Its time to get over that past relationship, and put yourself back on the market. The problem is it’s been so long that you don’t know where to start. Well have no fear; here are some steps to get you moving in the right direction.

The first step of finding a new love is to not look for one, yes I said it "don’t look"! After you get out of an old relationship use the time you have for self reflection. Go out and enjoy life! Start a new hobby, take some walks in the park, maybe adopt a new pet, but don’t go looking for love, instead let it find you. When you start on your journey towards self reflection you find new and exciting things to do that make you happy. When you are happy and in a state of bliss you will attract other people of like mind towards you. This is one of the first steps in meeting the right ONE.

After connecting with a new potential love make sure you take the time to build up your friendship, don’t rush into anything too soon. Love is always worth the wait so you have plenty of time to take the relationship to the next level. In the meantime just enjoy each others company, and start to learn about the person’s likes, and dislikes. You can share your dreams, ambitions, and fantasies together. This builds up a healthy rapport so that you can learn one another on a deeper level. Save intimacy until you feel it’s the appropriate time for the both of you, remember rushing into something too soon can ruin the connection so take it slow. 

Remember when building a new relationship take heed to not bring up your past partner or past relationship issues. This can hinder or tarnish your future relationship, that’s why self reflection is so important. Make sure that you have cleansed yourself from your past baggage so that when you go into a new connection you are fresh to experience all that love has to offer! Your past is your past, learn from it and move forward!

HOLDING OUT

 So you met someone new and your wondering...

HOW LONG SHOULD I HOLD OUT??

Well that all depends on you, and the vibe that you’re having with the other person. When starting a new romance you should take some time to talk, and get to know each other on a mental level before you bring sex into the picture. Holding out sometimes can be frustrating especially if you are getting close with the person and you are highly attracted to them, but good things are worth the wait! So...What's the Rush?

There are plenty of things you can do romantically in the beginning of your relationship to feel the person out before you take it to the next level. The best way to keep it subtle is to stay in open spaces. Don’t spend alone time together for the first couple months if you are trying to take it slow. If you find yourself one on one with the person you may not be able to hold back, so instead do things that can build your relationship, and friendship in an open setting. You and your potential partner can go out to events that you both enjoy such as, Poetry Readings, Sporting Events, and Carnivals. 

Try not to focus on the physical, but instead grow your understanding of the other person’s likes and dislikes. What makes them tick? What annoys them the most? These are all important questions you should be asking yourself in the beginning of your courtship. When you start to learn a persons moral values, and beliefs it makes it easier to see if you want to go further with them.

The best thing about building a friendship first is the romantic stimulation that comes along with the anticipation of the wait. Every night you are thinking about how it would be to have that person in your arms, and wondering how it would be to take it to the next level with them. All the thoughts and feelings in conjunction with your discipline build for a greater experience. When you take the time to get to know someone on a mental level it makes the Sex that much more Explosive because there are true Feelings, and Passion behind the Stimulation. You are connected on a Mental, and Physical level. So Holding Out can bring much more than A Greater Understanding, it can also bring a Higher Level of Sexual Gratification. 

So there’s no need to Rush! Holding Out Is a Good Thing!

KFC FREE MEAL COUPON

Recently there has been a big buzz over the free KFC coupon that Oprah is offering. I think this is a great idea especially during this recession we all could use something for free! However as I took the coupon that my coworker handed me I instantly had a flash back of when I was living out of a car with my mother in NY just a few short years ago! Currently I have food to eat and a house to live in, but back then I had none of the above. My mother and I had to sell the car we were living in for food. It was a very trying time in my life and I will never forget how it felt to sleep on a chair in a dirty shelter room filled with strangers!

I encourage everyone who has a coupon for free chicken to give it to a homeless person. They have no home, no heat, and no luxuries that you have. No matter what their situation is you are not on earth to judge them. I am including the link for the free chicken meal. This offer is available from 5/5/09-5/19/09. Just think of how many smiles you can put on someone’s face if you print out 1 coupon a day for the next week and give it to someone in need! You will be rewarded 10x folds I promise you! Please let’s give this food to someone who is less fortunate then ourselves. I know Oprah is always working to help others. Let’s make her proud!!!

Click Below to download the coupon and please pass on the message!

Click Here For Coupon

POWER OF COMMUNICATION

It's so easy to give up when things get hard, but in the end how will quitting benefit you? In any relationship whether it's intimate or platonic you will always have to learn how to communicate. Having the right amount of communication can determine whether you have a temporary relationship verses a long-term permanent one. Often times when we start a new union with someone we put up a defensive wall for protection. This is very common and somewhat necessary. In the beginning you never know what someone's true intentions are so putting up a temporary boundary can be a good idea, but be careful not to leave it up for too long...


Remember Communication is key!

WHEN TO CALL IT QUITS

Has your relationship gone from this.....

To this..............


If the answer is yes, well then maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship.

I spoke with a young woman this week, and she was telling me about her recent breakup. She said she was sad because her ex broke up with her so he could have more time to focus on his career. He said they still could be friends, but right now he couldn’t give her wanted she needed. For the record I don’t believe that bull-ish for a second! I feel any guy/girl who says they need space to focus on their career is holding something back. Normally you want the support of the person you love, and you welcome the encouragement that they can bring into your life. Now if that person is a hindrance because they are constantly bringing you stress then of course you will want to break up with them! But don’t say it’s because of your career plans, when honestly it's because you feel emotionally overwhelmed by their unsupportive attitude towards your goals for the future.

After I thought about her situation I responded by saying, "It sounds like there is more to the story, do you think he’s being completely honest with you?" She said yes she felt he was disclosing the whole story and she went on to explain how her ex has a busy schedule between work and school, and he spends all his free time pursuing his upcoming plans. Now what I forgot to ask the female is if she was a nagger, and if she ever found herself complaining about not having enough quality time with her partner. When a man/woman is working on obtaining their goals they need space. If you have a busy career, or a heavy workload make sure you're in a relationship with someone who understands that. If your partner is emotionally draining or too needy you will separate yourself from them in order to focus. COMMUNICATION is number 1! Not everyone can be in a relationship with someone who has a hectic schedule. However, I’m not excusing the lack of attention that you may be experiencing. When someone is important to you, you will make time for them!

On the flip side I have a male friend who is currently having problems with his woman because she feels he puts his career before their relationship. My friend claims he wants to make it work with her, but he doesn’t know what to do. I asked him if there was anyway he could involve his lady in his upcoming projects, and he said no. This is another issue, COMPROMISE! If this is someone you plan to be with for the long haul why not involve them in your plans? This way they won’t feel so neglected. Now if they don’t want to help, and they only want to complain then to hell with them! But if they genuinely just want to be in your presence, then helping you out with your goals for the future should be an honor.

In the end it’s all about finding the right one for you. Not everyone is going to fit into your lifestyle or your future. A good partner should be supportive, understanding, and compassionate. If you want to take over the world they should be right by your side cheering you on! But at the same time you have to make time for the things they love also. Support and compassion works both ways. Involve the one you love in the things that bring you joy, because it will make them feel special too. If you honestly feel your current partner doesn’t fit into your future plans then tell them so, don’t give them some stupid lame line about being too busy for a relationship. I don’t care what anybody says, you’re never too busy for LOVE! People only say things like that to avoid confrontation or an argument. The real truth is they don’t want to make time for you, and they are busy dealing with things in life that are of more importance to them.

I.E. You are no longer the person that takes priority in their life, they’ve lost interest in making things work with you! Again, if you really love someone and you genuinely want to be with them you will find ways to make it work despite the hardships you may endure.

If you don't want the truth, don't ask MizzHotBlaze!!!

DO YOU COMMUNICATE ENOUGH?

This message is for all the new couples. Congratulations! You have successfully passed your first 6 month or 1 year anniversary and things are still going strong. Of course you’ve had some bumps in the road, but love has gotten you over them. Around this time you might start to feel laid back and comfortable in your situation. Ladies start wearing their head scarf’s to bed, and guys start opening up about their feelings somewhat. This critical time can definitely make or break your future. One major problem in a new relationship is communication! This is a necessity. If you want your love to continue you need to talk. I know your thinking, “I talk to my man/woman everyday. I can communicate.” Well everyone says that, but unfortunately talking in a general sense is not enough.

A question for the ladies... “What do you tell your girlfriends about your man? Do you ever complain about him? Do you ever bit** about the annoying things he says or does? If the answer is yes, you need help communicating in your relationship. I know you probably think its ok to vent to your girlfriends because that’s what they’re there for, but honestly it’s not recommended to discuss relationship problems with friends. It’s ok to have one main person you confine in for advice from time to time, but your best friend should be your partner. You should be able to turn to him for direction and guidance. Not every man is good at giving advice, but your partner should at least listen and support you. He should be your confidant and your rock. If he’s not giving you all you need, then you may need to question if he’s the right one for you.
Fellas....Do you find yourself talking to other females about the problems you have with your girl? Do you ever look at another woman and think, damn I wish my lady would be more like that! Well if you answered yes to either one of these questions, you need help communicating in your relationship. Don’t look to another woman to make up for what your partner is lacking. If your girl is not giving you all you need then you have to speak up and tell her! I’ve talked to so many men who say they’re woman is not freaky enough, creative enough, or fun enough. After I patiently listened to all their concerns and issues I ask them, “Have you addressed this issue with your woman?” and most of the time they say no because they don’t want to hear her complain or they don’t want to hurt her feelings. To all the men out there please listen up! “We Can’t Read Your Mind!” Men and woman have different ways of communicating, but that doesn’t mean we can’t talk.

Rule #1 Never assume anything. Don’t think your girl/guy is gonna blow up about something when you have never even brought the problem to their attention.

Rule #2 Think before you speak. (Men) Yes, woman can be sensitive so choose your words wisely. The most important thing to remember is you can’t avoid a topic because you’re afraid to speak your mind. If you ignore the issue it’s not going to disappear, so deal with it and move on. (Ladies) Men have feelings too. Don’t ever compare your man to anyone else. If your partner is getting on your nerves take a few breaths and calmly tell them how you feel. Remember no man likes a whining woman, so make sure you try to release your feelings and be done with it! Erase the board and start fresh.

Rule #3 Monitor Your Anger! If your partner opens up and makes a suggestion to you, take the constructive criticism with ease not anger. Remember your mate loves you, and it’s ok to make changes. Life is about growth and progression. If you get angry they will only go to someone else to vent, and that will draw a wedge between your relationship.

Rule # 4 Little things mean a lot. After you have a sit down talk with your partner about an issue make sure you always end with words of love and encouragement. End the discussion by praising all the things you love about them! This is very very important. Think of exciting bonding activities to do together every week. This will make your relationship stronger. You can make fun card games for one another with questions your afraid to ask, write out a poem stating all the beautiful things you love about your mate, play karaoke together, and serenade each other with sweet love songs, etc.

Rule #5 Last but not least....Constantly find new ways to explore your LOVE. It takes hard work to maintain a healthy relationship, and you get out what you put in.

BEING SINGLE SUCKS!

 

I’m home alone in my room and I’m thinking back to all the relationships I had in the past, and wondering why none of them could last. Well I know I’m not the only one sitting here deep in thought about this subject. I have come to one conclusion regarding this matter…Being Single Sucks!!!!! Seriously, who wants to be alone? There are some people who say they prefer being single, but I think that’s a bunch of bull! The only exception to that is if you were in a Ike vs. Tina relationship.

An abusive spouse could cause anyone to second guess the true meaning of love. Still Tina didn’t give up on finding that special someone, so what’s your excuse? Hmmm… ”Well I’m too busy with work to think of a relationship right now.” Yeah ok, that’s another line people say to make themselves feel better. The truth of the matter is fear causes a lot of people to shy away from commitment. You are afraid of getting hurt, and being vulnerable. It happens to the best of us. We put our trust in someone, and they turn around and let us down.

Well I only have one thing to say about that…Tough Sh**! LOL Sometimes pain is pleasure, and real love is worth fighting for. Don’t give up too soon, because you might miss out on what you’ve been searching for all along. 

CHECK OUT MY VIDEO BELOW